An ode to David Finfrock's cough
08/27/07 06:34 AM
By ED BARK
King David of Finfrock,
You're nobody's hack.
And yet you keep coughing,
You sure have the knack.
Steve of Blow finally noticed,
Although six months late.
He did spell your name right.
All publicity's great.
We checked late nights last week
To see what was up.
Saw serf Steve MacLaughlin,
Your faithful young pup.
He said you were blogging
While resting your throat.
NBC5i.com
Has all that you wrote.
Your allergies flare up,
Cause infections sometimes.
You're seeing a sawbones
Who treats LeAnn Rimes.
Last winter this happened.
Came on in a hurry.
Fans feared for your life.
You said not to worry.
Your station meanwhile
Went for ratings glory
Turned all of this into
A great big sweeps story.
It worked like a charm.
The Nielsens were dandy.
Home cures were abundant
Try witchcraft, suck candy.
But rival forecasters
Are plotting new ills.
Queen Kate of Kahanek
Is getting the chills.
Prince Peter of Delkus
Has plans to keep sneezing.
Lord Daniel of Henry
Will mix in some wheezing.
Even Knight Bob of Goosmann
Wants in on this action.
He'll do all his forecasts
While firmly in traction.
Ah, but NBC5
Won't be topped at this game.
They're ready to rumble
And nothing's too lame.
Newy Scruggs gets the hiccups
Jane McGarry chews snuff.
Mike Snyder gets gassy,
That should be enough.
But seriously folks,
King David's our focus
A cure must be found
And no hocus pocus.
Our skies are still clouded
Without you in sight.
So be strong of voice
Get well by tonight.
OK, that's enough now.
You're duly saluted.
But we'll all cough far easier
When yours has been muted.