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Sheen inflicting himself on Dallas, too


Sheen made his earlier bed on Two and a Half Men. CBS photo

By ED BARK
It's oh so tempting to never write another word about the chain-smoking, fire-breathing, kiss-my-ass phenomenon known as Charlie Sheen.

But giving him up for Lent keeps falling by the wayside, especially since he's lately provided a big local angle. Sheen's "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option" tour, previously noted in these spaces, will touch down at Dallas' American Airlines Center on April 27th. Sheen has announced 12 new dates on his Twitter page, which is perilously close to having 3 million followers as of this writing.

The former Two and a Half Men star, who's filed a $100 million lawsuit after being fired, is launching his shows on April 2-3 in Detroit and Chicago. Both reportedly sold out in a TicketMaster record of 18 minutes. Tickets for the Dallas show -- "This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock," Sheen promises -- will go on sale Saturday, March 19th, with $1 from each ticket sold going to the Red Cross Japanese Earthquake Relief Fund. Prices range from $49.50 to $89.50, although of course you can pay more if you'd like.

S-o-o-o-o-o-o-o, are you going? Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, who's trying to get Sheen to do a series for his HDNet cable channel, almost assuredly will be on hand to press Sheen's flesh. But what about you? Here are some talking point options that perhaps will prompt your comments.

A. Hell no, I'm not goin'. I'd rather be on the receiving end of a hot lead enema followed by a marathon of $#*! My Dad Says
episodes.

B. Hell yeah, I'm goin'. Whether anyone likes it or not, this is a once in a lifetime pop culture event. I might even snag myself a "Duh. Winning" t shirt.

C. The Apocalypse is nigh.

D. Can't afford the price of admission, but I still find this guy fassssssssssssssssss-inating, as Babs Walters would say.

E. Don't like Two and a Half Men. Hate all the attention Charlie Sheen is getting. Would rather read about Fulton J. Sheen.