Paging Nora Roberts: Lifetime's new round of movies are drawn from her bestsellers
01/29/07 11:27 AM
By ED BARK
Lifetime gets little love from guys, and no wonder.
Until just the other day or so, the network officially billed itself as "Television For Women" in all its print and on-air promotions. Don't get the wrong idea, though. The next round of The Ultimate Fighter isn't on the way.
"We're not backing away from our commitment to being the No. 1 network for women," says Lifetime entertainment president Susanne Daniels. "But ESPN doesn't say 'Television for Men.' And Nickelodeon doesn't say 'Television Just for Kids.' I think we stand for 'Television for Women' now so much that we don't need to hit our viewers over the head with it anymore."
Got it. So maybe this gnarly male should have his head examined for checking out Lifetime's first of four movies dedicated to bestselling novelist Nora Roberts, who grinds 'em out like coffee beans. Angels Fall, premiering Monday (Jan. 29) at 8 p.m. central, stars the still resilient Heather Locklear as traumatized Reece Gilmore.
She's on another road to nowhere when her car blows a head gasket. And of course the lone automotive repair shop in a dinky Wyoming town has to send away for parts that will take longer to arrive than Colby Donaldson on the Hollywood scene. So Reece pieces together an existence as cook at the down-the-street Angel Food Diner after two gas station guys offer a commentary on today's contemporary woman.
"Pretty thing," says one.
"Yeah," says the other. "No meat on her, though. Women nowadays, you know, they just starve off all the curves."
Locklear, 45 and looking just a wee bit chipmunk-y, does an OK job in a movie that gradually devolves from OK to hokey. There's a murder mystery afoot, but did the mentally unstable Reece witness or fantasize it? Her mind, let alone that body, are terrible things to waste. So along comes supportive, strapping "Brody" (Johnathon Schaech), a former Chicago newspaper reporter who now writes mystery novels. (Message to beleaguered male Tribune scribes in the Windy City: get the hell out now. You might end up with Heather Locklear in front of a crackling fire.)
Lifetime also is adapting Roberts' Montana Sky, Blue Smoke and Carolina Moon into movies. It's akin to what NBC used to do with Danielle Steele's potboilers before the network's moviemaking division went into eclipse. Daniels says she's happy to be in business with an author who has had 144 New York Times since she began churning them out in 1981.
"I feel like if I go to the beach and everybody is holding a Nora Roberts book, then let's make these movies," Daniels says.
Everybody knows she's not referring to men. Lifetime is still dancing with the audience that brought it to prominence, even if it's not spelling it out anymore. So ladies, start your engines. Gentlemen, go watch 24.
Grade: C
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